Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's THAT Time Again.......

A few years ago I made a sales call on a new client.  As I spoke with him on the phone for the first time, I asked him if he would like to have lunch.  He agreed.

I drove to his office to pick him up, and when I arrived, he was ready to go.  I met him in person for the first time in the foyer of his place of business.  I judged him to be a man of about 50 years of age.  He had a satchel slung over his shoulder.  As we exchanged a handshake, I told him to just leave his satchel in his office.

He said to me, "I can't---it's my chemo."

He noticed the quizzical look on my face and explained that he had been diagnosed with colon cancer and was having to take continuous chemotherapy.  His satchel contained a pump and his medication, which was being infused into his bloodstream on a continuous basis.

He told me he was terminal.  They thought he might have two years to live.  He said he was advised several years previous to have a colonoscopy, but he put it off.  He said he felt fine.  By the time he began experiencing problems, it was too late.

Well, tomorrow is my colonoscopy date.  But actually, today is the hardest part.  To prepare my intestines for the procedure, I must go all day without eating anything except clear liquids---broth, clear juice, soft drinks, etc.  This is also designed to put me in a foul mood.  I love to eat!

Then, tonight at 6:00, I must drink 48 ounces of liquid with laxatives.  This is designed to keep me up all night while reigning on the throne. 

Tomorrow morning at 5:00, I have to drink another 48 ounces of laxatives to completely blow out what is left of my bowels.  Great.  All of this is meant to clear me out so the doc can see what is going on inside Clint.

Cindy will drive me to the clinic in the morning.  I will be asked to strip naked and put on one of those really fashionable robes that fasten in the back.  I will be led to the OR, where a friendly and knowledgeable nurse will talk to me in soothing tones as she places a tube where it will do the most good.

Then, I will be given a general anesthesia.  Goodnight, Clint.  Immediately after I have become unconscious, the stupid robe I am wearing will be removed and I will be naked as a jay.  Not that anyone cares, mind you, for in the OR, there is no such thing as modesty.  Ha.

Then the doc will snake a tube with a camera in it up my innards to see what's happenin' in there.  If polyps are found, they will be removed painlessly.  Pictures will be taken.  Not the kind you would want to frame and hang on your living room wall, but they do provide the doc with some evidence.

Afterward, the results of the ordeal will be discussed with me.  Hopefully, nothing untoward will be discovered and I will be told to come back for another colonoscopy in five to seven years.

Colon cancer is one cancer that can be almost entirely avoided by early detection.  And the colonoscopy is the procedure of choice.  Colonoscopies are troublesome and inconvenient.  But I do not want to wear a satchel as I die from a cancer that could have been avoided.

So I hope everyone enjoys a good, hearty dinner tonight!  I'll definitely be thinkin' 'boutcha'!


  1. Good luck Clint, when you put the robe on tomorrow don't put it in back to front like my late husband did once, I will be thinking of you.

  2. good for you for laying it all out there (or in there). no shame in that! good luck!

  3. what a pain in the a**!=)

    my grandfather died of colon cancer. a major reason i eat the way i do is to prevent these diseases. i've read from many sources that diets high in fat and cholesterol (especially from animal sources) have been found to cause colon cancer, among other illnesses.

    i've also read many accounts of folks curing cancer and other diseases with a healthy diet! i personally know someone who cured their MS (and she still ate her beloved hot dogs once in a while=). amazing how the human body can heal itself when fed a majority of good food.

    exercise and healthy eating is a great prevention strategy. i know you're exercising, and i hope you're still juicing regularly!

    sending lots of love xoxo

  4. at least you must have good medical ins you don't need to go to the va .There you are a #like in beetle juice-[the movie ]and the good guys at the av do look sort of comical that way and some I swear have already passed over to the other side but forgot to take there body with them.and at least your not doing it publicly like Katie Curric,have fun

  5. Keeping good thoughts and prayers for you, Clint.
    Carol B.

  6. The procedure will go quickly and you will be enormously relieved when it is over. What do you think you'll have for dinner tomorrow night? I'll be thinking of you. Blessings...Mary

  7. You have 24 minutes until 6 PM. It will all be "behind" you before you know it. This time tomorrow you will be so glad to have it over. I know we talked about lunch tomorrow after it is over, we'll just want and see what you are in the mood for tomorrow. I will be there waiting for you. I do hope you can get some rest.

  8. No wonder more people don't do this! You are a trooper and it will all be over before you know it. Treat yourself with your favorite meal tomorrow. You will have earned it!

  9. Good luck with your prep, but it is far worse on those around you. I feel for Cindy tonight ;)

  10. I am so glad you are having this done Clint. The prep is truly the worst part but it is great for a quick weight loss depending on how full of crap you are:))
    Wishing you wonderful results. Let us know.
    Arkansas Patti

  11. My friend Bob Keefe who is a folk singer wrote a song called colonoscopy blues. I think you'd be singing that song tonight if you knew it.

    It will be time for my procedure in November. I'm excited.

  12. hmmm... I think I'll continue postponing mine...

  13. Clint as I mentioned to you I've gone through this procedure a few months back... don't stop at the grocery store on the way home is my suggestion. You won't buy anything healthy and you'll wonder a few hours later why you bought all that junk food. It's called munchies after starvation! I was going to pick up a steak and BBQ but that seemed like way to much work, I settled for Popsicles and other junk I rarely eat! lol You'll be fine, I'm still here to talk about my colonoscopy, not that I ever feel the need to but what the heck, you brought it up! I'll be thinking of you. See you in two days!

  14. Good luck, hope all comes out 'clean' & clear for you.

  15. Good luck and all the best.

    Bless you my friend.