Once again I report news of interest from the pages of the Knoxville News-Sentinel. I include the article itself because no one would believe me if it were not printed in our daily newspaper.
We all know that locally grown food is gaining favor with the masses. It makes sense to eat local food because it is generally fresher and is easier on the environment than food shipped from other states or countries.
But now, according to the article, zombies in east Tennessee are getting in on the trend.
Michael Lewis, a Knoxville animated corpse, says he and his fellow zombie friends are now "sourcing most of our food through Knoxville. It's much easier when you hunt your own sustenance right off the street. The brains taste so much better when they aren't shipped from California or somewhere in Canada."
Lewis says eating local food is better for the environment and also provides the "thrill of the chase", which is not possible if the food comes from out-of-state.
Former human being Lois Pedrosa agrees. "I'll be coming back for more for sure", he said---"Probably when you least expect it."
Knoxville officials are not happy about the trend, the article reports.
Knoxville Police Department officer Brian Romero says "Look, I'm all for fresh food and availability, but frankly I like not being eaten by plodding creatures of the night. So what if the zombie food comes from Kentucky or Alabama. The zombies might have to apply some deodorant to the meal first, but that's not such a big deal in the big scheme of things."
Hmmmmm........................I think maybe I'll just stay home and watch TV after dark.