Tuesday, December 21, 2010

What I Learned From My Wife At 4:30 AM

Today I interrupt my Christmas themed blog to tell you what I learned about my lovely wife at 4:30 this morning.  I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life.

We were still in the bed, just awakening, when Cindy asked me what football games I am interested in this bowl season.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  I'm looking forward to several different games.  Why aren't you more interested in football?

Cindy:  Oh, I enjoy being with you while you watch the games, but I don't really get into the action that much

Me:  Do you understand the game?

Cindy:  I know the basics.

Me:  What are the basics?

Cindy:  (long pause)  Ummmmmm....well, one team is trying to get to the end of the field and the other team is trying to stop them from getting there.

Me:  (pause)  Well, yeah...that's pretty basic, all right.

Cindy:  And the team with the ball is trying to kick a field goal.

Me:  Oh, here we go......How many points does a team get for kicking a field goal?

Cindy:  (long pause)  Two.

Me:  (Now I'm thinking this is really an interesting conversation)  How many points does a team get for scoring a touchdown?

Cindy:  (pause)  Ummmmmm......One?

Me:  How many points does a team get for kicking an extra point?

Cindy:  I thought an extra point was a field goal---two?

Me:  How long is the football field?

Cindy:  (long pause).........500 feet?

Me:  Well, honey, so far you're perfect---you have missed every question.

Cindy:  Well, at least I DO know about baseball.

Me:  OK, what is a slider?

Cindy:  That's easy---that's when a runner tries to get to a base and slides in the dirt.

Me:  Hmmmm.  (Pause)......What is a triple play?

Cindy:  (long pause).......Is that when the batter hits the ball and it bounces three times?

At this point I tried to get out of bed to write this priceless conversation down so that it could be preserved for the ages, but I was laughing so hard it took me three minutes just to get on my feet.

And after having thought about this wonderful discussion, I am convinced that I am married to a true national treasure.  Thank you, Cindy, for getting my day started with a big laugh!  I love you!


  1. Oh yes, laughing is very good. That could be a talk between me and my man, hihi, but not at this time in the morning. Than I'm sleeping.

    Mana Greetings to you and your lovely Cindy sends Sabine

  2. I don't think I could even speak at 4:30 in the AM. That's sleeping time for me.

  3. We have soccer over here,( but call it football)
    My youngest son was a pro until a series of accidents forced him to give up playing.
    My late husband loved the game. Me? don't know one end of a pitch from the other.
    I did enjoy your conversation so early in the morning.

  4. hahahaha
    but Hey, Cindy probably knows more about those games than I .... Im an "Australian Rules Football" girl, and I played softball once upon a time as well.....
    American Ball games are weird!!! ;o)

  5. I see the love, because of her words:

    " I enjoy being with you while you watch the games"

    must be real Love.

    ..but anyway, it was funny *lol*

  6. What a witty woman you have! She should do stand-up

  7. THANK GOD my husband never quizzes me on sports.

    She's quite a gal, enduring the sports (*yaawwwn*) just so she can be with you! You are blessed, man! (I'm the SAME way).

  8. Ha!---thank you all for your comments! And Merry Christmas to you all!

  9. somehow missed this one - so funny!