Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Marriage.......

Today, class, we shall discuss the institution of marriage.  It really is a deep and fascinating subject.  No, this blog post will not attempt to go deeper than the surface, but that should be more than enough to get a response or three.  I mean, everyone has an opinion on the topic!
Cindy and Me at the Local Courthouse Eight Years Ago.  The Judge Just Married Us.  The Picture Quality is Poor, But We Didn't Care.
My experience with marriage has taught me this:  You had better really know what you want in a mate, and you had better REALLY KNOW HIM/HER before you get to the "I do" stage.

Ah---to quote Shakespeare---there's the rub.  What seems like a slam-dunk decision can be deceptive.  You meet someone and they are intelligent, handsome, fastidious, educated, funny, able to hold down a good job, can make decisions, and make your hormones flow.  On the surface, after a few dates, this individual appears to be a possible catch.

I have learned that decisions based on a high hormone level are not usually very good.  No, I have found that TIME is the most important ally in decision making. 

In the case of Cindy and me, we wanted at all costs to be able to say we really knew each other before we married.  Now, the only way we knew to really do that was to live together for a while and see first hand how we responded over time.

We decided to give it a year, and then make our decision.  This approach worked very well for us, although we knew it was not approved by our religion.

After about nine months of living together and seeing each other in all types of situations, we made commitments to each other.  It was the perfect way for us to know what we were getting into. 

The next decision, which we had, of course, been talking about, was WHERE and HOW to get hitched.  We discussed our church, of course---that was an obvious consideration; but there was a problem of who to invite and the distinct possibility that we would be pressured to do things and invite certain folks we did not want present.

So then, we discussed Las Vegas.  If we had our wedding there, we could be pretty much assured that we could control who attended and we could have a memorable time as well.  But, Vegas involved spending more time and money than we wanted to spend.

We discussed other possibilities, also.  In the end, however, we decided all that was important to either of us was being married to each other.
Cindy Today
On a memorable Friday afternoon in late June, Cindy donned a nice dress and I put on a suit, and we went to the county courthouse.  We were married by a judge in a private ceremony in one of the courtrooms.  It cost $25.  We were elated.
Me Today
On the way home, we made phone calls to our mothers and other relatives announcing the joyous news.  Our ceremonial meal was a stop at a Mexican restaurant where we made goo-goo eyes at each other over chile rellenos and tacos.  Now, that's a marriage worth having!

27 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you two got together. You make a great couple :) I've been married 18 years and we had a few rough years in the beginning- but we're still happy. We actually got the oil changed in the car on our wedding day. I made our reception cake and had people over to our apartment after to celebrate. Simple is good. Congrats to the both of you!

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  2. I agree. Too much focus on the fancy wedding and not enough on the marriage these days. I know of someone who got a divorce right after the wedding. They knew they didn't want to marry the person, but they really wanted to have the wedding. *sigh*

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  3. Amen! So many times we focus on the wedding - not the marriage. Love that you did the opposite!

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  4. My husband was married when I met him - one of many reasons why I didn't date him. Long story short, he moved to another state to try to re-unite with his wife but she would have none of it. She divorced him. Mike called me. We spoke on the phone for a few weeks. Mike got a big bill. He asked me to marry him. I said yes. A year later we got married, moved to California...
    and began dating.

    We've been dating every since. We will have been married for 32 years in June.

    Shay :)

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  5. First let me congratulate you on a happy marriage. I met my husband at 17 yrs and married when I was nineteen, Oh we had our dufferences and we together produced 2 sons and a daughter, We had a happy family life and he was very family orienated and loved to visit our parents.Two weeks after our 35th wedding anniversary he sadly passed away, it was expected but not quite that soon.
    I did nine years later meet someone else who I thought could bring me a second chance of happiness but it was not to be ....he was violent so I got out. I may be alone again but I have a good life, a wonderful family and like to travel...what more can one ask for.

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  7. Didn't have a fancy wedding though we married in Church. I had already decided, that no matter what happened. I did not believe in divorce, and would never get one. We both knew that an oath before God was never to be taken lightly. There were ups and downs, but love grew. It is amazing what you can work out when there is no way out. After 38 years and 11 months, neither of us regretted our decision. I still mourn him. Although he passed 6 years ago this July.

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  8. You and Cindy make a great looking couple. Many many years of happiness to you both.

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  9. Congrats on 8 years of marriage! You do make a nice looking couple!

    So...what does she think about you growing your hair out, lol!

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  10. very sweet! you and cindy make a lovely couple!

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  11. No marriage is easy.
    I believe in the 4 compatabilities.
    1. Same spiritual level.
    2. Same humour.
    3. More or less equal intelligence.
    4. Chemistry and physical attraction.

    You have to be evenly yoken. Two oxen pulling a plow, must do so together, it will never work if one bucks and kicks.

    Give and take...
    I am in my second marriage. We married in a Chapel in Pigeon Forge TN with a minister. It was so beautiful. I wore black as that was the best I had. Nothing is perfect, but we work on it together.. and with God in the midst it gets better.
    LOVE YOUR PHOTOS. God Bless You Both.

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  12. Easy going...why not, there must be no big party. You've made your decision and that's good.

    The main thing is happy and satisfied for the rest of your life.

    Greetings

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  13. You are in love with your wife Cindy and this is
    what counts..

    Greetings.

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  14. Karen---Congrats on your 18 years! Sounds like you two got it right in emphasizing each other and not a big ceremony. Thank you for commenting --- it means a lot.

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  15. Jane---Ha. Yeah, I've heard of things like that happening. I can't really get my brain around it, though. If the amount of money spent were the determining factor in a couple staying together, a big ceremony might make sense.

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  16. Texwis---We talked about it and talked about it. It finally just happened naturally that we just wanted to be married without any other distractions.

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  17. Shay. Congrats on your 32 years! I appreciate your comments, and I have enjoyed getting to know you better.

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  18. Yvonne---I always look forward to your comments because you have been thru so much and are not afraid to share what you have learned in life. God bless you.

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  19. God bless you, Sue---Congratulations on being strong and sticking with things. I know sometimes it is not easy.

    My mother had a saying..."We don't believe in divorce. Murder, YES!"

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  20. Kelli---thank you! You and John look pretty good yourselves!

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  21. Kimberly---Ha. Cindy actually loves that I am willing to try new things---like longer hair. She has been helping me learn to work with it. I'm pretty much all thumbs, but learning...I appreciate your comments.

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  22. Crystal Mary---Of course I agree with everyting you say. BTW---Cindy is from Knoxville, TN. We have our home on the market, and if it ever sells (the market is horrible), we will be moving back to east Tennessee. Pigeon Forge is beautiful. I really appreciate your comments.

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  23. Petra---Thank you! I appreciate your comments. God bless.

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  24. Monika---Yes, we are pretty compatible. Thank you for your comments. Blessings.

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  25. you are both so lovely Clint! You and Cindy! We need to see people like you, happy and married

    oh is this nice

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  26. What a great story :) Glad you shared it with us, C. And TN is such a gorgeous place. I hope to live in NC when we retire. We love it there as well.

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