The FRIDGE...

I just don't know what it is about refridgerators. I mean, they come from the manufacturer all nice and clean and shiny, and within 3 weeks I turn it into a giant, cold, botannical greenhouse; growing all kinds of stuff not yet discovered by scientists. Fridges require cleaning on a regular basis. Aye, there's the rub...I DON'T WANNA CLEAN IT!

Cleaning requires my time and patience. I've got plenty of the former but damn little of the latter.

So, day after day, week after week, the ole ice box accumulates stuff---like that brown thingy growing on the celery I bought two months ago. It doesn't spoil that quickly, does it? And what the devil is that white mold stuff on the three week old grapes? Oh my God---it's also on the side of the fridge! Guess I'll HAVE to clean it now...hey wait---maybe I can hire someone to do it? Hmmm.

And the other thing about fridges is the fact that they acquire additional bottles, cartons, cans, etc every day without my knowledge. I swear I didn't buy half the stuff stuck in there. There is something very sinister going on. Could it be a neighbor is playing a joke on me---sneaking in my house every day to plant stuff in there? The inside doors have so much stuff stuck in there you can't find anything.

I took pics of the doors and then took everything out of the doors to illustrate just how much crap is in there. Why are there four bottles of soy sauce? Who the hell bought three bottles of teryaki sauce? How did two jars of marmalade get in there? Does this stuff reproduce itself? Does anyone have any answers? Please? HELP!!!