Coffee, Java, Joe, Mud, Mocha, Espresso, Cafe....

It all started when I was a little kid. My mom and dad drank coffee in the mornings before their day started. And, they often drank it in the evenings after dinner. They took their joe in pure black form, never polluting it with cream and sugar like most other folks. They drank their "mud", as dad called it, accompanied by several cigarettes. I guess the combination of caffeine and nicotine got 'em started in a big way.

But, I digress. Even at an early age I asked why I, too, could not partake of coffee along with them. My dad's standard answer to this query was always "It'll stunt your growth". He also utilized this same response when I asked about cigarettes and beer. But, I digress again.

So I muddied (pun intended) through life without coffee until I was sent packing to college. There, at dear old Furman University, I was initiated into manhood on my first trip to the dining hall for breakfast.

Full of trepidation and uncertainty over the prospects of my classes, I entered the dining hall early on my first day of studies. The beckoning appeal of brewing coffee was strong. I got my first mug of the stuff and sat down with my bacon and eggs. I washed the protein down with the java, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Over the years I have always taken my mud pure. Let others screw around with sugar and honey and whipped cream and God knows what all---I'm a man and I drink like one.

I went through about a 20 year period in my life when I chain-drank the stuff---all day long---until I came home from work at the end of the day wired higher than a high-tension line.

I finally settled into my current habit of about two mugs in the morning and that's it for the day.

In Germany a few years ago, I observed the European method of downing the stuff and I adopted it as my own...strong, baby, and black. I love the way they make their coffee---the strong smell and the strong flavor of the roasted bean. That's the way, uh huh uh huh I like it now.

Americans in general have lots to learn about coffee. Most coffee made in homes in this country has no flavor. It is merely black, hot water. I can't stand to look at it, much less drink it.

Went to Starbucks the other day --- haven't been there in a couple of years --- and I saw a long line of folks waiting to order. Most of them ordered some kind of a latte or other bastardized version of the good drink. I suppose this is considered an indulgence worth $4.00 a pop, but I call it a waste of perfectly good caffeine. Hells bells, why don't they just go down to Baskin Robbins and get what they really want---an ice cream sundae?

I notice there are lots and lots of different kinds of legitimate coffees to choose from. I counted about fifty of them at our local import market. When I go to The Corner Bakery for my morning mud, I always order the "Europa Blend". It is advertised as "Rich & Sophisticated". Yep, thass me!