I suppose we have all experienced various attractions to others in our lives. Remember when you were young and you felt a strong attachment to someone? When I was young, that kind of feeling was called a "crush" ---a temporary endearment to another. I guess the object of my first crush was my second grade teacher. After that, there were any number of female classmates who I felt a crush for over the years.
As I matured into adulthood, I found occasions when an attraction would develop with a woman. This, to me, was like a crush but more intense. The dictionary calls this an "infatuation" ---a "foolish, unreasoning or extravagant passion or attraction". An infatuation can make one feel pretty helpless, because it is practically impossible to control and can lead to some bad endings.
"Love" is defined as "an intense feeling of deep affection". This, to me, is a mature feeling that has the connotation of permanence. Of course, a relationship that features true love is rather difficult to attain, but is very fulfilling and rewarding when accomplished.
Sometimes---especially when we are young---we confuse infatuation with true love. This is a highly confusing state, and often leads to deep confusion and frustration.
Have you ever had a crush on someone? Have you ever been infatuated? Have you ever been in a permanent love relationship? Do you have any thoughts on these feelings?
Call these the music, poetry, fact and fiction of a dreamer....Call this LYRICS of LOVE and LORE.
Yes to all the above! I have had a crush on you, been infatuated with you and now have a permanent (The Lord willing) love relationship with you!
ReplyDelete♥
Yes to all three, but I have to admit, that young infatuation can really be intense. There is a reason they make 1000's of movies about it ;)
ReplyDeleteWow Cindy, that deserves dinner and flowers.
ReplyDeleteYep, I too have had crushes, infatuated, and relatively long term realationships. Crushes are frustrating for they are one sided, infatuations where commnon sense has no part in the relationship, and long term which are sooooo comfortable. The latter is the best.
Arkansas Patti
That's an interesting subject.
ReplyDeleteCan't say I personally had a 'crush' or was infatuation by/for anyone.
I had friends who were boys, young men but
when real/love happened for me, that was it!
I've had all three, but longstanding, committed love just gets better and better with age. Cindy, you said it beautifully.
ReplyDeleteall of the above - sometimes with unkind outcomes on all of the above...
ReplyDeleteIt would be very sad to think any adult had not experienced all of them. It is just part of what we are.
ReplyDeletehmmm haven't thought about crushes or infatuation for along while...probably did...but it's been love and commitment for a long long time...
ReplyDeleteI wish I could find true love after the crushes and infatuations. Til now my Mister Big didn't show up :-)))
ReplyDeleteI met my husband when I was 17yrs, I was with a friend when he walked into the dance hall. I said to my friend"I'm going to marry him". She said I was foolish, he came over danced a while and made a date for the week-end. After that we saw each other everynight. 2 years later we married and I was with him til death did us part. I held his hand as he slipped from me. Yesterday while I was writing about the worst films I'd seen it was 13 years to the day we held his funeral.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Clint, I've had all 3 also. I feel like the latter is a choice you make along with the feelings. Even if you lose the 'loving feeling' when you are in a permanent relationship (ie: married) then you have to choose to continue to love your spouse, even when they're not lovable. I am a recent divorcee after almost 17 years & although it takes 2 to tango, I must say that I know how hard I tried to make it work and I MADE myself keep loving even when I thought it would be impossible.
ReplyDeleteI met my first hubby at 11yrs..it was love at first sight..I married at nineteen, and he used his power over years to almost destroy me. I had one deep love after my marriage...and I amost felt I'd die when it just disolved..
ReplyDeleteThen Ray..With him it is a wonderful healthy spiritual growing love.
A like many people...some I love in a deeper sense of the word..But with hubby Ray it is an eros, phileo, growing to an agape love..eternal.
No comment! lol Just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI've had crushes, infatuations BUT never a permanent love relationship. That sounds sad but it's not. I thought I had permancy in both of my marriages, but I didn't. I thought I had permanent love with a few boyfriends, but I didn't. I've had tons of fun searching for it so it's not all bad, the flip side is that to sit and analyze my past relationships I have experienced heartbreak, lonliness, and low self worth... no more of that nonsense.
I've come to learn that the only permanent love comes from within, without a permanent internal love of self (not egotistical kind of love, just plain old love) that I will never find someone to have a "permanent" love relationship with. See I'm learning! :-)
Have a wonderful day and now I have food for thought. Thank you.