Guide For Men Who Have Cheated and Been Caught......

You have cheated on your wife and been caught red-handed.  You now have a problem.  She doesn't trust you any more.  You want to stay married to her, but you have really messed up your life and the  lives of others.  What to do?

Well, first of all, let us recognize the fact that you never thought you'd get busted.  But, as we have seen played out over and over year after year, getting caught is more the rule than the exception.  I mean, just look around at the high and mighty in our  society who have fallen---presidents, congressmen, professional athletes, governors, etc, etc, etc.

This situation begs for an instruction manual for guys who need to address the fact that they got caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

I have not had to look far to compile such a manual.  This manual comes from the many examples all around us.  Here is the preferred sequence of events:

1.  Deny, deny, deny.  Lie, lie, lie.  Claim that this is a misunderstanding.  Claim your account was hacked.  Claim you didn't write those e-mails or sext those pictures.  Claim it was all a joke.  Claim that the other woman is "just a good friend".  Claim that no one could actually think you could do such a thing.  Ask   what the meaning of "is" is.  When this strategy fails, go to step two.......

2.  Confess your mistake publicly.  Ask for forgiveness publicly.  Try to talk your wife into appearing beside you for support as you proclaim your repentance.  Buy your wife an expensive diamond ring.  Avow that this happened to you largely because the other woman came on to you and caught you in a moment of confused weakness, but certainly no one could think that the infidelity was actually anything more than a cheap and meaningless romp.

3.  Issue a written appeal to the public, something that goes like this:  Recently my family has suffered because of actions that I have taken.  I did something very wrong and I take full responsibility for it.  I have apologized to my wife and family and friends.  We ask that everyone honor our request for privacy at this difficult time.

4.  Lay low for a few weeks.  Cancel all public appearances.  Hope the furor blows over.  Ease back into your old routine.  Swear to yourself to be more careful next time.

Takin' the Wife for a Workout.......

After working for the last few months on convincing wifey (all you ladies refer to your husbands as "Hubby", so I'm following your lead.  Ha.) that she should join me in regular workouts at my new-found facility, I finally prevailed.  We got her signed up yesterday, and today was her first scheduled workout.

This was to be a joyous occasion.  Next to our spiritual growth, our physical condition is most important.

So, when we arrived this morning at 6:30, we were both excited.  Yes, my friends, today was the first day of the rest of her life.  And, although she is not really overweight or otherwise in ill health, it is always really a good thing when someone makes a commitment to exercise regularly.

But, as usual, God had a surprise for yours truly.  What I thought would be a simple teaching/learning experience turned out to be something else.

After a short warm-up, we went to the upper body circuit.  I showed her how to use the Lat pulldown machine.  Oh boy.  I had not considered that she had never been to a workout facility in her entire life---most of her exercise has always consisted of walking through our neighborhood. 

We finally got her working the lats, but she was not breathing properly.  I gently instructed her to breathe out on the power stroke and inhale on the negative stroke.  Well, this was a problem because she couldn't seem to coordinate her breathing with her lifting.

Same thing on the next machine, the rowing exercise; and the next one, the pec fly; and the next one, the chest press, etc, etc.

She was frustrated.  I was frustrated.  This was gonna be harder than I thought.

But, when we got to the treadmill and I showed her how to use the controls, it got worse---she had a bad experience one time 20 years ago on a treadmill and she was gun-shy.  She was afraid of the machine.  This, too, was frustrating for us.  But as the minutes
ticked away, she seemed to become more comfortable.  YES!  She was mastering the art of treadmill walking!

She had a good first workout.  Much was learned---especially by me.  Wifey came a long way in her learning to workout, and I learned that I assume too much and I am STILL too impatient.  I gotta work on that!

The Cutting Crew, The Beauties, and The Beast.......

 

I Am Happy With My New Look

My "Before" Picture----HELP!!!

The Beautiful Tiffany Styled My Hair

Shall We Begin With A Shampoo?

I Look Like An Arab Prince

Since it has been eons since I had my beautiful, flowing locks trimmed, it was decided that I would look a heckuva lot better if I visited a professional hair dresser.   It was suggested that I was beginning to look like a charity case.




Tiffany Works Hard!

So, Cindy took me up to the Powell location of The Cutting Crew, a friendly little beauty shop staffed by two beautiful and charming ladies, Tiffany and Cindy.

Beauty And The Beast


Tiffany shampooed and cut my hair and then styled it.  I enjoyed talking with her very much.  She is a Tennessean by birth and loves living here.  She got her cosmetology license when she graduated from high school and has been in the profession ever since.

Cindy is The Other Beautiful Hairdresser at The Cutting Crew

Thanks, Tiffany!  I feel (and look) so much better!  See ya again in about 6 weeks!

I'm An Idiot (but a nice idiot)

Short and sweet---In my earlier post today about the differences  between Texas and Tennessee, I gave credit for the idea for the blog to Texwisgirl at http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/

I should have given credit to Jane at http://hardworkhomestead.blogspot.com/

Hey, I'm old and sometimes the ole wires get crossed.  Ha.  Sorry  'bout that.  And THANK YOU, JANE, FOR THE SUGGESTION!

I hope everyone will visit both these excellent blogs.

Differences Between Texas and Tennessee

Texwisgirl at http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/ asked me the other day what I have seen in the way of differences between Texas and Tennessee.  I thought that was a good question, and I have given it some thought the past few days.

Here is a partial list of observations:

---Texas is 90% flat.  Tennessee is 90% hilly. 

---Texas roads are generally straight.  On some of them you can just drive and drive all day long and seldom even move the steering wheel.  Tennessee roads are winding and hilly and DANGEROUS.  Many roads here in east Tennessee don't even have shoulders.  If you are not payin' attention---or if you are multi-tasking---you can go off the road and die just like that.  This is particularly troubling because we've got these good ole boys who drink to excess who like to get out in their pick-up trucks and drive recklessly.  I try to stay off the roads after 5:00 PM if possible.

---Food costs more here in Tennessee.  I have been shocked at some of the prices.  Shrimp (which we love) cost two and a half times more here in Tennessee.  I couldn't believe it.

We also love sushi.  In Texas, all the supermarkets had a sushi counter.  Here in Tennessee, we finally found one market that offers sushi.

---In north Texas, it seems all the churches were mega-churches, with thousands of members each.  Here in Tennessee, it seems there is a small church on every corner. 

---In north Texas, zoning laws are enforced.  In Tennessee, if there are zoning laws, they are not enforced.  You see expensive homes next to single-wide trailers next to body shops next to apartments next to gas stations next to car dealerships. 

---Neither Texas nor Tennessee have state income taxes, but the property taxes in Texas were FOUR TIMES what they are in Tennessee. 

---My auto insurance and homeowner's insurance are Half what they were in Texas.

---If you join a workout facility in Texas, it'll cost you a minimum of $25 a month (usually more), a start-up fee of at least $75, and an agreement that has a penalty if you try to terminate it.  Most Spas in Texas keep regular office hours---you can only work out when they are open.

I joined one here in Knoxville three weeks ago that is $15 a month, no contract, and allows me towork out anytime, 24/7.  Each member has a card key that is programmed with his/her code.  Wanna work out at 11:00 PM?  No problem.  3:00 AM? No problem.

---In Texas, a big orange "T" stands for the University of Texas.  In Tennessee, that orange T stands for the University of Tennessee.  "This is Big Orange Country!!!" the locals loudly proclaim.

---Here in east Tennessee, the accents are slightly country and slightly hillbilly and slightly twangy.  In Texas, the accents were a drawl.

---There are a whole lot more trees  in Tennessee than in Texas.

These are a few of the things I have noticed in my short time here so far.

Wired.......

Large Screen HD TV

One of the notions that seems to stick in my brain is how really stupid and backward electric wires are.  I guarantee you that in 50 years we will look back and just shake our collective heads at the idea of wires.

Soundbar

I mean, the inventor who finally discovers a method of powering our homes and appliances without wiring will be incredibly wealthy and famous.  I mean, wires are such a terrible hassle and eyesore.  I mean, you take this morning, for example.

Internet Router

The little lady and yours truly were going to complete the hookup of wiring for our TV set.  Sounds simple, no?  Well, there was a time that it WAS simple---take the wire from the TV set and plug it into the wall outlet and voila!......turn on the set and enjoy!

A Few Hundred Choices In The Rear Of The TV

But in today's highly advanced society, things have improved! pardon my sarcasm

No, today we have Blu-Ray DVD players, sound systems, internet connections, and High Definition television sets that must all be electronically integrated.  I suppose if you have an electronic engineering degree from Cal Tech, you can figure it all out in a week or two.

What A Headache!!!

But a sad sack like myself is gonna have a problem.  And we did.  I want to thank my wife for not killing me during our four-hour ordeal.  I also want to thank God for finally allowing us to successfully complete the wiring.  How we did it I do not know, but that is beside the point.

You Gotta Be Kiddin' Me!  This is Where We Are At In The 21st Century?

Anybody else have a serious challenge when it comes to wiring stuff up?  Anybody else think it'd be just a wonderful idea to find a way to power stuff up without wires?

Stylish Blogger Awards.......

I am awarding the Stylish Blogger Award to 15 fellow bloggers.  This award is being passed on because I admire these bloggers and their work. 

Please understand that I admire ALL the bloggers I follow.  If you were not selected, it absolutely does not mean I don't love your blog.

The tradition is this:  When one is awarded the Stylish Blogger Award, they are asked to post 7 things about themselves that are not generally known.  This can be fun!  And, it offers everyone the opportunity to learn more about each other. 

Another important consideration is this:  Your acceptance of this award in no way obligates you to do anything!  You do not have to list 7 things about yourself, or anything else if you do not want to.  Also, if you would like to pass this award on to other bloggers you admire, please do so.

I urge everyone to check out these outstanding blogs!

(Drumroll, please)..........

http://islandmusings-shuni.blogspot.com/

http://mla-crownofglory.blogspot.com/

http://fourleafcloverdairy.blogspot.com/

http://survivablelife.blogspot.com/

http://angemomma.blogspot.com/

http://carmichaelchronicles.blogspot.com/

http://thenewsixty.blogspot.com/

http://www.swampbillyranch.com/

http://ravenhush.blogspot.com/  ------- Buttons Thoughts

http://danitag-danitag.blogspot.com/

http://hopefaithlife.blogspot.com/

http://momentswithmeowlissa.blogspot.com/

http://crystalmarylindsey.blogspot.com/

http://lonely101.blogspot.com/

http://animalfriendlyeating.blogspot.com/


Congrats to all!