Guide For Men Who Have Cheated and Been Caught......

You have cheated on your wife and been caught red-handed.  You now have a problem.  She doesn't trust you any more.  You want to stay married to her, but you have really messed up your life and the  lives of others.  What to do?

Well, first of all, let us recognize the fact that you never thought you'd get busted.  But, as we have seen played out over and over year after year, getting caught is more the rule than the exception.  I mean, just look around at the high and mighty in our  society who have fallen---presidents, congressmen, professional athletes, governors, etc, etc, etc.

This situation begs for an instruction manual for guys who need to address the fact that they got caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

I have not had to look far to compile such a manual.  This manual comes from the many examples all around us.  Here is the preferred sequence of events:

1.  Deny, deny, deny.  Lie, lie, lie.  Claim that this is a misunderstanding.  Claim your account was hacked.  Claim you didn't write those e-mails or sext those pictures.  Claim it was all a joke.  Claim that the other woman is "just a good friend".  Claim that no one could actually think you could do such a thing.  Ask   what the meaning of "is" is.  When this strategy fails, go to step two.......

2.  Confess your mistake publicly.  Ask for forgiveness publicly.  Try to talk your wife into appearing beside you for support as you proclaim your repentance.  Buy your wife an expensive diamond ring.  Avow that this happened to you largely because the other woman came on to you and caught you in a moment of confused weakness, but certainly no one could think that the infidelity was actually anything more than a cheap and meaningless romp.

3.  Issue a written appeal to the public, something that goes like this:  Recently my family has suffered because of actions that I have taken.  I did something very wrong and I take full responsibility for it.  I have apologized to my wife and family and friends.  We ask that everyone honor our request for privacy at this difficult time.

4.  Lay low for a few weeks.  Cancel all public appearances.  Hope the furor blows over.  Ease back into your old routine.  Swear to yourself to be more careful next time.