Funny, you know, how we humans share so much in common---no matter how different our individual backgrounds may be.
One such universal commonality occurred to me today as Cindy and I were talking about things that happened in our individual pasts. She had been talking with her sister, who revealed to her a couple of stories from her early childhood in which she became deeply hurt. These hurt feeling incidents have stayed with her all her life.
Cindy told me a story from her own childhood that has stayed with her all her life. She was walking down the street one day as a 12 year old child and she passed a couple of teenage boys who stopped to look at her as she passed by them. Now, understand that Cindy was quite thin at the time and was somewhat self-conscious about that fact. One of the boys made the comment "Heck, she might BE something if she'd gain about 500 pounds".
Almost half a century later, the hurt from those words is remembered.
She mentioned a couple of other moments from her childhood in which her feelings were hurt and the memory remains. Usually, the hurt came from something someone said. We may forget important incidents from our past, but it seems we cannot shake those moments of deeply hurt feelings in our youth. And, it is interesting that all of us can dredge up moments like these.
As for me, the first incident I recall (and I can recall a good many if I try) was from my ninth summer. My grandma and grandpa, who I adored, took me with them on a fishing trip to Coldwater Lake in Michigan. Oh, it was to be a glorious week-long adventure, with lots of fishing with grandpa!
Our first day there, I looked forward to being in the boat with gramps, speeding along the water toward the best fishing spots, feeling the tug of fish on hook, experiencing the joy of boating the fish and the pride in posing for pictures with the string of fish at day's end.
But alas, I could not find grampa---I walked down to the lake to see if he was getting the boat ready for our foray into the lake. There, I found him---getting into the boat by himself, with his rod and tackle box. I yelled out to him. He looked at me and then turned and sped off alone across the lake to fish alone that day. I was devastated. And I never forgot the hurt.
As an adult, I look back on some of these incidents and smile. In the case of my grandpa, the poor guy just wanted a little quiet time by himself. He is more than forgiven.
But we don't forget those hurtful moments from our childhood, do we?
Call these the music, poetry, fact and fiction of a dreamer....Call this LYRICS of LOVE and LORE.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Honoring my 90 Year Old Mom on Mother's Day.......
What a ride it has been! Today is your day, mom! Thanks for all the joys, tears, learning, and fun! I love you so much!
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!! And lots of love!!!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Our Incredible, Wondrous, Dysfunctional American Government.......
It is a rainy, lazy Sunday afternoon in east Tennessee. The liquid began falling around midnight and has not really stopped, except for a few minutes at a time.
I like rain. I like the soothing drum of it as it pelts the roof and windows. And I like the thunder that sometimes accompanies it. It makes me relaxed and contemplative, and I like it when I am relaxed and contemplative. My mind wanders more than usual and it makes me smile when my imagination is holding sway.
Well, thank God the media coverage of the Boston bombing has subsided. In the 24/7 day-on-day coverage that continued with no letup in sight, North Korea successfully launched an ICBM; a number of barges collided on the Mississippi River, causing untold damage and blocking one of America's busiest avenues of transport; a fertilizer plant explosion in Texas killed 14, injured 150 and leveled five square blocks of the town of West, Texas. One would never know any of that, however, amid the blanket coverage of the Boston Marathon terrorism.
Someone I respect said that Boston got all the media attention because it was a case of wealthy people with $200 running shoes and big bank accounts sucking the coverage away from blue collar workers in middle America and the fact that no one cares if North Korea has a missile with a nuclear warhead attached until they actually take out the US west coast.
I wonder how many hundreds of millions of dollars (billions?) was spent trying to locate the perpetrators of the Boston bombing. The entire city of Boston was shut down for one entire day. Thousands of military, police and fire personnel were activated for days. Untold equipment was brought in---all to find two crazy guys.
I especially liked it when the guvnah of Massachusetts announced to everyone after a long day of searching every property in the designated search area that it was now safe to come out. Ha. Politicians are great, aren't they? I mean...they are always wrong. It was not ten minutes later that all hell broke loose in the 'hood with gunfire and helicopters and lions and tigers and bears until finally they had caught the second Muslim terrorist.
Then it came to light that the Russians had warned us about these two guys. The older perp was interviewed and nothing came of it. Even when he left the country for 6 months to go to Chechnya for training, it raised no red flag with the FBI. Kinda' reminds me of the events preceding 9-11, when our government was given all kinds of warnings and leads but chose to do nothing. Remember how those who flew the planes into the Pentagon and the WTC only wanted to be trained on how to take off and not how to land the planes? Duhhh.
Nothing's changed.
Think I'll go back to looking at the rain.
I like rain. I like the soothing drum of it as it pelts the roof and windows. And I like the thunder that sometimes accompanies it. It makes me relaxed and contemplative, and I like it when I am relaxed and contemplative. My mind wanders more than usual and it makes me smile when my imagination is holding sway.
Well, thank God the media coverage of the Boston bombing has subsided. In the 24/7 day-on-day coverage that continued with no letup in sight, North Korea successfully launched an ICBM; a number of barges collided on the Mississippi River, causing untold damage and blocking one of America's busiest avenues of transport; a fertilizer plant explosion in Texas killed 14, injured 150 and leveled five square blocks of the town of West, Texas. One would never know any of that, however, amid the blanket coverage of the Boston Marathon terrorism.
Someone I respect said that Boston got all the media attention because it was a case of wealthy people with $200 running shoes and big bank accounts sucking the coverage away from blue collar workers in middle America and the fact that no one cares if North Korea has a missile with a nuclear warhead attached until they actually take out the US west coast.
I wonder how many hundreds of millions of dollars (billions?) was spent trying to locate the perpetrators of the Boston bombing. The entire city of Boston was shut down for one entire day. Thousands of military, police and fire personnel were activated for days. Untold equipment was brought in---all to find two crazy guys.
I especially liked it when the guvnah of Massachusetts announced to everyone after a long day of searching every property in the designated search area that it was now safe to come out. Ha. Politicians are great, aren't they? I mean...they are always wrong. It was not ten minutes later that all hell broke loose in the 'hood with gunfire and helicopters and lions and tigers and bears until finally they had caught the second Muslim terrorist.
Then it came to light that the Russians had warned us about these two guys. The older perp was interviewed and nothing came of it. Even when he left the country for 6 months to go to Chechnya for training, it raised no red flag with the FBI. Kinda' reminds me of the events preceding 9-11, when our government was given all kinds of warnings and leads but chose to do nothing. Remember how those who flew the planes into the Pentagon and the WTC only wanted to be trained on how to take off and not how to land the planes? Duhhh.
Nothing's changed.
Think I'll go back to looking at the rain.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
My Public School Journey.......
I know there are many others out there who, like me, made a complete schizophrenic, bipolar mess of their public education as a child/adolescent. I have often reflected on my twelve year journey. Frankly, after going through that emotional roller coaster that involved not only readin', writin' and 'rithmetic, but also teenage acne and hormones mixed with liberal doses of rebellion, it's a wonder I can think at all.
But as I have pondered over the years my passage through the alimentary canal known as elementary, middle and high schooling, I have come to realize that much of what I am was formed in those twelve years between ages 5 and 18. I decided to draw a graph showing my education satisfaction and confidence development over those years, and man---what a trip. When I look at the psychotic nature of my ride I realize it's no shock I turned out the way I did. Sigh.
If I were a product of the present, I would have been diagnosed with ADHD and several other current maladies du jour. But of course, back in the dark ages of the 1950s and '60s, the medical establishment was quite in the dark about these syndromes, so I (fortunately) did not have the questionable benefit of the pharmaceuticals of today used for such afflictions.
You can see by the chart that my journey started off pretty badly. The first four years in school produced bad grades (in conduct as well as in the subjects studied), any number of whippings at home (my dad preferred a belt, and it was used every 6 weeks when the report cards were delivered), a zero sense of self-worth and a very (un)healthy symptom of acting out which made my parents crazy and resulted in an uncontrollable death spiral.
Then, in the fifth grade God put me under the tutelage of one Mrs Dot Shumake at Golfcrest Elementary school and Oh. My. God.
I never knew such wonderful teaching and leadership. She was an angel. My grades excelled. I felt good about my self. I got no more whippings. I'll never forget her.
But in the Seventh grade, I was in a new school---a Jr High, or Middle school---full of bullies and advanced math and teachers you couldn't BS. I crashed. Back to the bottom. Bad self-confidence. More acting out. And, of course, my hormones were now a player and that alone is enough to cause bedlam with most teens. Ha. I can laugh now but it wasn't funny back then.
Slowly, my level of achievement and satisfaction rose. Very slowly, my grades rose. Very slowly, I began to find myself. But it was an ordeal. It was probably the most productive part of my "education". I guess everyone goes through it, but I just didn't handle it very well. After high school, it probably took another 15 years for me to truly "find" myself and settle down as a grounded and actualized individual, although I know now that no one ever stops growing or changing. But, those early years were certainly a trip worth remembering and reflecting upon.
I bet every one of you could tell a similar story.
But as I have pondered over the years my passage through the alimentary canal known as elementary, middle and high schooling, I have come to realize that much of what I am was formed in those twelve years between ages 5 and 18. I decided to draw a graph showing my education satisfaction and confidence development over those years, and man---what a trip. When I look at the psychotic nature of my ride I realize it's no shock I turned out the way I did. Sigh.
If I were a product of the present, I would have been diagnosed with ADHD and several other current maladies du jour. But of course, back in the dark ages of the 1950s and '60s, the medical establishment was quite in the dark about these syndromes, so I (fortunately) did not have the questionable benefit of the pharmaceuticals of today used for such afflictions.
You can see by the chart that my journey started off pretty badly. The first four years in school produced bad grades (in conduct as well as in the subjects studied), any number of whippings at home (my dad preferred a belt, and it was used every 6 weeks when the report cards were delivered), a zero sense of self-worth and a very (un)healthy symptom of acting out which made my parents crazy and resulted in an uncontrollable death spiral.
Then, in the fifth grade God put me under the tutelage of one Mrs Dot Shumake at Golfcrest Elementary school and Oh. My. God.
I never knew such wonderful teaching and leadership. She was an angel. My grades excelled. I felt good about my self. I got no more whippings. I'll never forget her.
But in the Seventh grade, I was in a new school---a Jr High, or Middle school---full of bullies and advanced math and teachers you couldn't BS. I crashed. Back to the bottom. Bad self-confidence. More acting out. And, of course, my hormones were now a player and that alone is enough to cause bedlam with most teens. Ha. I can laugh now but it wasn't funny back then.
Slowly, my level of achievement and satisfaction rose. Very slowly, my grades rose. Very slowly, I began to find myself. But it was an ordeal. It was probably the most productive part of my "education". I guess everyone goes through it, but I just didn't handle it very well. After high school, it probably took another 15 years for me to truly "find" myself and settle down as a grounded and actualized individual, although I know now that no one ever stops growing or changing. But, those early years were certainly a trip worth remembering and reflecting upon.
I bet every one of you could tell a similar story.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Common Reasons People Do Not Attend Church/Sunday School
Here are a few of the more common reasons that many people cite when asked why they do not attend church or Sunday School. This is a list from my own experience with others as well as myself.
I know some seem silly, or seem like just an excuse to not have to get off one's butt and actually do something on Sunday. Nevertheless, these feelings and expressions are very real.
---I don't know what to wear
---Wear something comfortable.
---I don't like to have to dress up
---I don't either, so I don't
---I am not knowledgeable about the bible and would be embarrassed in front of the group
---Most people either don't know much about the bible or they know a lot less than they think they do. But don't give it a second thought, for you will not be quizzed. Relax and enjoy
---If someone asked me to say a prayer in front of a group, I couldn't do it
---No one with any class at all will ask someone else to say a prayer unless it has been agreed upon in advance. Relax and enjoy
---A church is a business, and I hate being hit up for money all the time
---You don't have to give any money. But give this one some serious thought. If the church is providing something to you and the community, shouldn't they receive the means for continuing their good work? Besides, is your money really yours?
---My spouse doesn't like to go to church, and I don't want to go if he/she isn't going with me
---This can be tough. But the answer is this: you really are in this world alone...except for God, who is always with you if you will allow Him to be. You will find spiritual benefits from church you cannot find anywhere else. The chances are that your spouse will see your growth and want to experience it as well
---I don't know anybody there
---Don't worry---you will soon, and the people you meet in church can have an incredibly positive impact on your life
---I feel self-conscious to have to sit by myself
---My own experience with this is that sitting alone allows me to be more contemplative and focused on the service and God's Word
---If I visit, people will start calling me at home and pestering me to join
---You almost assuredly will not be pestered. But remember that the only thing worse than being called at home by someone asking you to be part of their group is not being called and not being wanted. Ha.
---Even if I do go and decide I would like to join, the church requires new members to stand in front of the congregation to affirm their commitment. That is too embarrassing for me to do!
---The least you can do for a God who has given you life and talents is to commit to Him publicly. But many churches allow new members to join in the privacy of the church office. Personally, I don't approve of this, but it is what it is.
---Preachers always carry on too long. Why can't the service just last an hour and end promptly so I can get home to take care of domestic business?
---Find a church that has a pastor who is organized to the point where the service ends on time. I would not go to a church whose service runs past the scheduled time allotted
---I get spooked when the preacher starts talking about hell and satan
---Ha. So do I. But the devil does exist and needs to be discussed
---I always feel like the preacher is speaking directly to me when he is talking about sin
---Ha. Me, too
---I don't understand all those terms they speak about, like Eucharist, Lent, Pentecost, etc, etc, etc..........
---Don't worry about it. No one knows that you don't know. A lot of people don't know. You'll learn
---If someone asked me to read something from the bible, I'm not sure I could pronounce all those words correctly
---Probably no one will ask you to read anything without pre-arranging your approval, but if you can't pronounce something, gloss over it with a chuckle. Pronunciation is not important
---I don't need to go to church to commune with God
---No, you don't. But getting together with other Christians generates friendships and accelerated growth in faith
---I work all week and it is too hard to get up on Sunday mornings
---But what is most important in your life? Think about this long and hard
---I worry about Communion---what is it all about? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say?
---You worry too much about appearances. Communion is one way Christians stay close to Jesus, remembering what He did for us by giving His life for our sins. You don't have to say anything. The wine (grape juice) and bread symbolize the body of Christ. As you eat and drink, remember all that He has done for you and give thanks
I know some seem silly, or seem like just an excuse to not have to get off one's butt and actually do something on Sunday. Nevertheless, these feelings and expressions are very real.
---I don't know what to wear
---Wear something comfortable.
---I don't like to have to dress up
---I don't either, so I don't
---I am not knowledgeable about the bible and would be embarrassed in front of the group
---Most people either don't know much about the bible or they know a lot less than they think they do. But don't give it a second thought, for you will not be quizzed. Relax and enjoy
---If someone asked me to say a prayer in front of a group, I couldn't do it
---No one with any class at all will ask someone else to say a prayer unless it has been agreed upon in advance. Relax and enjoy
---A church is a business, and I hate being hit up for money all the time
---You don't have to give any money. But give this one some serious thought. If the church is providing something to you and the community, shouldn't they receive the means for continuing their good work? Besides, is your money really yours?
---My spouse doesn't like to go to church, and I don't want to go if he/she isn't going with me
---This can be tough. But the answer is this: you really are in this world alone...except for God, who is always with you if you will allow Him to be. You will find spiritual benefits from church you cannot find anywhere else. The chances are that your spouse will see your growth and want to experience it as well
---I don't know anybody there
---Don't worry---you will soon, and the people you meet in church can have an incredibly positive impact on your life
---I feel self-conscious to have to sit by myself
---My own experience with this is that sitting alone allows me to be more contemplative and focused on the service and God's Word
---If I visit, people will start calling me at home and pestering me to join
---You almost assuredly will not be pestered. But remember that the only thing worse than being called at home by someone asking you to be part of their group is not being called and not being wanted. Ha.
---Even if I do go and decide I would like to join, the church requires new members to stand in front of the congregation to affirm their commitment. That is too embarrassing for me to do!
---The least you can do for a God who has given you life and talents is to commit to Him publicly. But many churches allow new members to join in the privacy of the church office. Personally, I don't approve of this, but it is what it is.
---Preachers always carry on too long. Why can't the service just last an hour and end promptly so I can get home to take care of domestic business?
---Find a church that has a pastor who is organized to the point where the service ends on time. I would not go to a church whose service runs past the scheduled time allotted
---I get spooked when the preacher starts talking about hell and satan
---Ha. So do I. But the devil does exist and needs to be discussed
---I always feel like the preacher is speaking directly to me when he is talking about sin
---Ha. Me, too
---I don't understand all those terms they speak about, like Eucharist, Lent, Pentecost, etc, etc, etc..........
---Don't worry about it. No one knows that you don't know. A lot of people don't know. You'll learn
---If someone asked me to read something from the bible, I'm not sure I could pronounce all those words correctly
---Probably no one will ask you to read anything without pre-arranging your approval, but if you can't pronounce something, gloss over it with a chuckle. Pronunciation is not important
---I don't need to go to church to commune with God
---No, you don't. But getting together with other Christians generates friendships and accelerated growth in faith
---I work all week and it is too hard to get up on Sunday mornings
---But what is most important in your life? Think about this long and hard
---I worry about Communion---what is it all about? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say?
---You worry too much about appearances. Communion is one way Christians stay close to Jesus, remembering what He did for us by giving His life for our sins. You don't have to say anything. The wine (grape juice) and bread symbolize the body of Christ. As you eat and drink, remember all that He has done for you and give thanks
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Animal Control? Really?.......
Cindy took this shot of the marauding but friendly Hog
I was preparing for a quiet day at home on Sunday afternoon, chillin' with my computer, when a blood-curdling scream shot through the house from the throat of my precious Cindy: "CLINT!!! COME QUICK!!! THERE'S A HUGE PIG IN OUR BACK YARD!!!!
Well, the dear lady of the house certainly knows how to get my attention. Ha. My blood pressure immediately shot to 210/120 as I bolted from my office to the back deck.
I got there in less than 5 seconds, but all I saw in our back yard was a teenage girl with a small terrier on a leash. I gently turned to the Cinderoo and calmly informed her in a reassuring voice, Honey, that is a dog. (Insert smiley face here)
But the story continues...
I asked the young girl what was going on. She said she and her friend (who I could see about 50 yards away) were chasing a huge pot-bellied pig that had been on the lam from its owner's back yard pen for two days. Problem is, she explained, although the porker was tame and would allow humans to approach it and even pet it, the animal knew full well what a leash is for and would not allow anyone with a leash anywhere near him.
Add to that the fact that the swine weighs around 200 pounds and is almost as quick as a deer, and you begin to see the predicament.
I suggested that we all might benefit if I brought the critter down with my .30-.30. I love barbeque. But that notion was shot down (pun intended) very quickly by everyone present.
I was informed that Animal Control had been called the day before but that the 120 pound young woman who was dispatched to solve the problem was unable to do anything with the huge hog.
Animal Control was again summoned. Within minutes, the white service truck appeared, driven by the same young lady. In talking with her, she said there did not seem to be anything she could do because the pig was too big, too smart, and too fast a'hoof to allow itself to be caught.
Simpleton me asked why it could not simply be anesthetised and transported to its owner or to the county Animal Control center.
Oh, no! she said---If the pig were darted, it would just panic and run away and we might never find it.
Well, this got me t' thinkin'. The questions I asked myself were these:
---Why would Animal Control send a 120 pound young woman out on a job that would require at least three full grown men in prime physical condition to solve?
---Why would Animal Control spend several hours over a two day period spending taxpayer money on a problem they know cannot be remedied without darting the animal?
---If the young control officer actually DID dart the pig, how would she lift it into the control truck?
Anyway, after a few hours of excitement, trailing the hog all over the neighborhoods, the animal control officer left. Her last words were I'm gonna give a citation to the owner of the pig.
In the meantime, we are now in day four of the crisis. We have a marauding, albeit friendly, 200 pound porker running hog-wild in north Knoxville. Some homeowners are reportedly now feeding it. Sigh.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Would You Share a Foxhole With....?
I'm an army vet and have been around, you know?....
And last night before bed my mind began to wander as it often does before the Land of Nod claims my being. I was thinking about the sad state of our nation and the many personages who contribute to its sorry standing. Most of them, of course, are politicians. Hell, everyone knows you can't trust them.
I was thinking about how soldiers are often required to spend considerable time in foxholes and how important it is to have a buddy you can fully trust to be there with you. If you can't trust the guy next to you when the attack comes, you are in for a miserable---and perhaps final---firefight.
And I got to thinkin'---who in today's news would I be happy to share a foxhole with---you know---someone of great character, who I can trust, who tells the truth, who I trust to have my back as I have his....
First, who on the current scene would I NOT share a foxhole with?
(List is not all inclusive---not nearly enough space or time for that here. Ha.)
1. Lance Armstrong (Lies, Cheats, and Snitches on Others)
2. Barack Obama (Lies, Denies, and Blames the Other Guy)
3. Joe Biden (There Ain't No Cure for Stupid)
4. NYC Mayor Bloomberg (Hypocrite of the First Magnitude)
5. Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel ( See 1, 2 and 4 Above)
6. Colin Powell (US Army Gen, RET---Can't Trust 'im)
7. NJ Gov Chris Christie (He Forgets Whose Side He's On)
8. Sen. Harry Reid (See 3 Above)
9. Sen Maj Ldr John Boehner (Too Weak to Trust)
10.Former Senator Newt Gingrich (Too Confused from Overthinking Every Situation)
11.Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, et al (See 2 above)
12.Anyone from the Lamestream Media (See 2, 4, 6, 9, 10 Above)
Who Would I share a Foxhole With?
I'll get back to you on that one.
And last night before bed my mind began to wander as it often does before the Land of Nod claims my being. I was thinking about the sad state of our nation and the many personages who contribute to its sorry standing. Most of them, of course, are politicians. Hell, everyone knows you can't trust them.
I was thinking about how soldiers are often required to spend considerable time in foxholes and how important it is to have a buddy you can fully trust to be there with you. If you can't trust the guy next to you when the attack comes, you are in for a miserable---and perhaps final---firefight.
And I got to thinkin'---who in today's news would I be happy to share a foxhole with---you know---someone of great character, who I can trust, who tells the truth, who I trust to have my back as I have his....
First, who on the current scene would I NOT share a foxhole with?
(List is not all inclusive---not nearly enough space or time for that here. Ha.)
1. Lance Armstrong (Lies, Cheats, and Snitches on Others)
2. Barack Obama (Lies, Denies, and Blames the Other Guy)
3. Joe Biden (There Ain't No Cure for Stupid)
4. NYC Mayor Bloomberg (Hypocrite of the First Magnitude)
5. Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel ( See 1, 2 and 4 Above)
6. Colin Powell (US Army Gen, RET---Can't Trust 'im)
7. NJ Gov Chris Christie (He Forgets Whose Side He's On)
8. Sen. Harry Reid (See 3 Above)
9. Sen Maj Ldr John Boehner (Too Weak to Trust)
10.Former Senator Newt Gingrich (Too Confused from Overthinking Every Situation)
11.Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, et al (See 2 above)
12.Anyone from the Lamestream Media (See 2, 4, 6, 9, 10 Above)
Who Would I share a Foxhole With?
I'll get back to you on that one.
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