Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Animal Control? Really?.......

          Cindy took this shot of the marauding but friendly Hog

I was preparing for a quiet day at home on Sunday afternoon, chillin' with my computer, when a blood-curdling scream shot through the house from the throat of my precious Cindy:  "CLINT!!!  COME QUICK!!!  THERE'S A HUGE PIG IN OUR BACK YARD!!!!

Well, the dear lady of the house certainly knows how to get my attention.  Ha.  My blood pressure immediately shot to 210/120 as I bolted from my office to the back deck. 

I got there in less than 5 seconds, but all I saw in our back yard was a teenage girl with a small terrier on a leash.  I gently turned to the Cinderoo and calmly informed her in a reassuring voice, Honey, that is a dog.  (Insert smiley face here)

But the story continues...

I asked the young girl what was going on.  She said she and her friend (who I could see about 50 yards away) were chasing a huge pot-bellied pig that had been on the lam from its owner's back yard pen for two days.  Problem is, she explained, although the porker was tame and would allow humans to approach it and even pet it, the animal knew full well what a leash is for and would not allow anyone with a leash anywhere near him.

Add to that the fact that the swine weighs around 200 pounds and is almost as quick as a deer, and you begin to see the predicament. 

I suggested that we all might benefit if I brought the critter down with my .30-.30.  I love barbeque.  But that notion was shot down (pun intended) very quickly by everyone present.

I was informed that Animal Control had been called the day before but that the 120 pound young woman who was dispatched to solve the problem was unable to do anything with the huge hog.

Animal Control was again summoned.  Within minutes, the white service truck appeared, driven by the same young lady.  In talking with her, she said there did not seem to be anything she could do because the pig was too big, too smart, and too fast a'hoof to allow itself to be caught. 

Simpleton me asked why it could not simply be anesthetised and transported to its owner or to the county Animal Control center.

Oh, no! she said---If the pig were darted, it would just panic and run away and we might never find it.

Well, this got me t' thinkin'.  The questions I asked myself were these:

---Why would Animal Control send a 120 pound young woman out on a job that would require at least three full grown men in prime physical condition to solve?

---Why would Animal Control spend several hours over a two day period spending taxpayer money on a problem they know cannot be remedied without darting the animal?

---If the young control officer actually DID dart the pig, how would she lift it into the control truck?

Anyway, after a few hours of excitement, trailing the hog all over the neighborhoods, the animal control officer left.  Her last words were I'm gonna give a citation to the owner of the pig.

In the meantime, we are now in day four of the crisis.  We have a marauding, albeit friendly, 200 pound porker running hog-wild in north Knoxville.  Some homeowners are reportedly now feeding it.  Sigh.

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