Sunday, April 1, 2012

Our Totally Unbelievable, Ridiculous Day!!!.......

Wow.  That's all I can think of to say.

Here's the story:  Believe it or not, Cindy has never been fishing. I mean, never been fishing in her life!

We have discussed this over the years, and I have always marveled at how someone could go through so much living, and travel, and fun...without ever having been fishing.

Anyway, on to the story...

I finally bought two nice, heavy-duty fishing rods, two good reels, some 12-pound test line for the reels, and some basic tackle.  I surprised Cindy by telling her we were going fishing!  Of course, she was ecstatic. 

I had done some investigating, and the information I garnered led me to believe we might have some luck catching a few small catfish in the Clinch River, which is near our house.

Since I don't have a boat, I figured we would just fish off a good spot on the bank for a while.  Hopefully she would get a bite, feel the magical tug of a hapless fish on the line and reel it in for her first historic catch.  I got a fried chicken picnic basket and some cold drinks in a cooler.  We stopped at the QuickSack and got two fishing licenses, and I drove us to a scenic, predetermined spot on the river.  I put up two stools I had brought from home, showed the dear lady how to bait a hook, pulled out two diet 7-Ups from the cooler, tossed the lines into the scenic river and enjoyed the feeling.

Clinch River, Near Where We Fished
We talked a little, ate some fried chicken, and watched as nothing happened with our bait.  Still, it was fun.

All of a sudden, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!

She got a bite so hard the rod jumped from her hand.  I grabbed it just before it could be pulled into the water.  My God, it was a monster fish! 

The drag on the reel spun and sang like an out-of-control  racecar.  Cindy shrieked in horror/amazement.  I hung on for dear life, dumbfounded. 

By and by, the drag eased and I gave the rod back to the Cinderoo, who had peed her pants at the excitement.  I told her to keep the rod tip up and reel, baby, reel.  Minutes turned to hours.  The denizen slowly began to move shoreward.  After two hours, we had drawn a sizeable crowd around us, as they could not help but notice the drama unfolding.  Cindy was definitely tiring, but the huge fish---whatever it was, was also obviously tuckered out, and it was being pulled closer and closer to our place on shore.

OH. MY. GOD.  When the fish got within 20 feet of us, we saw it for the first time.  It was a monster, unlike anything I have ever seen in my life.  It looked prehistoric.  It looked otherworldly.  This was a fish from the netherworld.  Whatever it was, I knew this was gonna make big headlines---and not just in Tennessee, but around the world.

It Took About 12 Guys From the Crowd to Haul the Fish Ashore
It took 12 men from the crowd around us to pull the spent beast ashore.  No one knew what it was until an old Game and Fish Officer was called.  He said it was a giant sturgeon, which had been absent from these waters for a couple of hundred years.  He said he had never seen anything like it at all, and he had been working these waters for 45 years.  The newspaper sent a photographer.  The school up on the hill let the children come down to the river to see the beast.  The University of Tennessee sent a team of Ph.Ds to make a report.  Cindy got interviewed by ABC News.  Excitement, excitement, excitement.

What a day!  And to think this was Cindy's FIRST fishing trip!  Like I said, "WOW"!!!

We paid this old geezer $20 to haul Cindy's catch to the Hatchery
It took four hours to land the big fish.  We got an old geezer in a rowboat to haul the thing up to the hatchery on the river, where we got one of the town's fish markets to dress it for us.  They said the beast weighed 480 pounds.  From that, Cindy and I netted six pounds of caviar and 150 pounds of sturgeon steaks for our freezer.  What a day!

NOTE:  On the way to our car to return home, I spotted the largest rabbit I had ever seen in the field.  I chased it down.  I thought you would all enjoy the picture of me and our new pet.


  1. ROFLOL! That is so ridiculously unbelievable! That was a hoot of a story, April Fools!

  2. This is the Big Fish story. I believed you.

  3. Oh, you spin a good my friend, a very good one!

  4. Looks like it's gonna be fish again tonight and every night for the rest of our lives! Talk about feeding the multitudes! BTW, it's your turn today to clean up the rabbit pellets. Yuck!

    ( Laughing my head off! {:~D) )

  5. All I can say is WOW.
    Fish and fries for tea for the next fortnight?
    Wonderful post and just as exciting reading it.


  6. LOL you're hilarious Clint and good catch Cindy! hehehe

  7. Oh well...a very good April both thought about a fish, right :-))))

    Greetings to you and Cindy♥

  8. You had me for a bit there especially with the excitment so intense that Cindy wet her pants....and my next thought was Oh she'gonna be so made when she reads you posted it....LOL funny guy...thanks for the April Fool's Day laugh.....I was on of the big ones reeled in .... ROFL

  9. oh boy clint, you had me going until i saw the picture! wonderfully suspenseful story-telling - i've never been so april-fooled!

    my family had quite the surprise when we went fishing and pulled up a few skates, which may have well been sea monsters to me at the time! then i cried because my dad couldn't get the hooks out of their mouths.

  10. Wow... Your going to have all the fishermen wanting to go fishing with you:)

  11. Clint,

    TRUTHFULLY, I don't know how Cindy puts up with you. :)

    But it is a GREAT April Fool's story. :) :)

  12. Loved the laugh and what a story loved the way you told it so bloody funny that pic of the rabbit made me giggle

  13. You are so dang ornery! Funny too, but ornery.

  14. April fools you had me going too Clint.

  15. What a story to begin April with. :)

  16. That is the best I've read today :-). What a wonderful prank. You had me for a while. Have a great day, Clint. Blessings...Mary

  17. hahaha, I was believing it until half way through and then I scrolled up to look at the date and....sure enough.....hahaha.

  18. No one can spin a yarn like a fisherman! It's part of the sport, I think because you have to sit around for so many hours with nothing to do while you're not catching anything!

  19. Just checking on you I have been out of town. sandie

  20. Haha oh my gosh Clint!!! i really don't know if you are telling the truth or not!?! I do not it is one ugly big fish! haha

    And i have never been fishing either...
    Bastiaan did get a rod when we got married though...

    Big BIG hugs to you and Cindy

  21. I will never forget the time we lived in Stone Mont and i was about 7 years old and you went yelling screaming "there are monkies in the front yard.". Lol. Of course i went running!

  22. Nothing like killing something that has been around longer than all of us, I would say good catch but thats really f****d up.