Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dear Diary.......

Good morning.  It's another beautiful, clear, cool day in east Tennessee.  Looks like it's gonna be a hot summer, and it's only April now.  We totally skipped winter.  And that's a shame because I was looking forward to four distinct seasons.  Instead, we got two---summer and everything else.  Hummmph.

I.  The subject of bullying keeps coming up.  Listen---bullying will always be with us.  It begins in childhood and lasts throughout life.  Kids have to be taught to handle it, or else they will be preyed upon from womb to tomb.  The bully does his/her work because he/she can get away with it.  The bully derives a benefit from getting away with it.  The bully can be stopped only by being taught the lesson that there is NO BENEFIT.  In my opinion, the best way to teach this lesson is to bop the perp over the head with a hard object to get his/her attention, and then do it again to administer the lesson.

Otherwise, the bully will continue to bully into adulthood and old age.  As long as they are getting away with it because folks are afraid to confront them, the beat goes on.

II.  On another note, I have been thinking about the great American pastime of "acting out".  Acting out is a pattern of behavior that begins in childhood and continues into adulthood and old age.  Sound familiar?  Acting out involves an individual doing something in their life to gain a benefit that is otherwise lacking.  It is related to ego defense mechanisms.

For example:

---A spouse has an extramarital affair because he/she does not feel they are being appreciated enough by their marriage partner

---A child is a juvenile delinquent in their behavior because they do not get proper discipline at home and are seeking some kind of attention

I don't know the answer to solving this problem.  It is widespread and permeates our society.  But, I do know one thing---it is always destructive. 

III.  Cindy and I have been discussing the subject of hosting a party.  We agree that, if one is invited to a party, one should tell the host whether or not they intend to attend.  If one says he/she will attend, one should make every effort to be there.  If one cannot attend, one should say so.  No excuse is needed.

A related topic:  when entertaining, the host should have regular and decaf coffee already made.  Do not ask the guests, "Would anyone like coffee?---It's no trouble to make..."

This line makes everyone say, "No thank you" , because the guests do not want to cause the host to have to do more work than they have already done, even if they really would like a cup of coffee.

IV.  Have you ever wondered about seeing someone from your past again?  Have you noticed how the passage of time always causes you to recall only good things about that person? 

Several times I have had occasion to reacquaint with old friends I had not seen in decades.  Within minutes of our initial meetings, the bad things of their personalities came oozing back into my memory.  Yes, my friends---I am sure they felt the same way about me...

V.  You ever have regrets?  I do.  I especially regret how certain people in my life have passed away, and I feel like I was not there for them in their old age like I should have been.  I regret not being able to see/be with my grandparents more than I was.  But, I suppose everyone carries these feeling around to some extent.

VI.  Reader's Digest used to have a feature in every issue titled "My Most Unforgettable Character".  I have a few from my life.  My father-in-law.  Man, what a trip this guy was!  He was a country farmer/store owner.  Tough as nails and funny as all hell.  He was loved and hated. 

Then there were my grandparents.  Every single one of them was unforgettable.  Solid, accomplished, loaded with personality---maybe just a little of that rubbed off on me, for which I am eternally grateful.


  1. You have brought up some good topics, most I am sure many can relate to in their lives. About the bullying, I was amazed there was a non-credit class at UT on dealing with bullies. Something is lacking in our society when one has to pay money and enroll in this class! You know my bullies in my life and how I allowed them to treat me. I hope I have learned some things by now. You are so right, there are no age limits on bullies. My way of dealing with them is to not have anymore contact with them. Yes, family members can be bullies, how well I know.

    I need to spend more time with my mother, that reminds me of the phone call I need to make about her moving closer to us.

  2. Wow...what a diary post. Lot of thoughts are going through the head.


  3. i never have any qualms about saying 'yes!' to the coffee question. they're the host; i'm a guest. YES, i'd love some coffee, thanks!

  4. You brought up some good things. We did have a bullying incident this year regarding Andy. This one boy picked on him all year. He talked to the teacher - but the bully's mom worked at the school and they were friends and nothing was done, we talked to the principal - they checked it out and talked to him, later we talked to them again - we talk Andy to hit him back - he's a black belt in karate - BUT the principal told him not to -because he would be suspended. Now the bully never was. I told them the next step was a lawyer. Well, before we knew it the mother took her son out of school and put him in another. I don't think Andy's teacher liked that all at and the principals either. They raked Andy over the coals for it - and he had such school anxiety for awhile. He was made the victim I felt. I wish he would have hit him!

    And people don't reply to invites anymore - I don't get it.

    And yes - make the coffee!


  5. Clint,
    WHAT was in YOUR coffee this morning? Good grief, you ranged all over from "Generations to Revolutions" on this one. FUN stuff, too!

    Okay - could not agree more on the "please RSVP" -and come if you say you will, or call and say you won't. Yeesh. That is NOT asking too much.

    Bullying - don't even get me started.

    Personality - well, I'm thinking about that one. Yours, of course. I don't have one.
    Fun post - have a great day ...Marsha

  6. Many good issues here Clint. first let me say I think we're having your winter you didn't have,
    An excellent post, yes bullying is still very much still going on.
    I think a bully is a person who underneath hie/her bravado is an insecure coward.
    My grandson was the subject of bullying a while ago, he is such a mild tempered person he was afraid to say anything. My daughter put two and two together and saw the head teacher, eventually it got sorted.

    Have a grand day,

  7. Whoa! Some powerful topics here but I love the way you faced them. It's all a matter of good raisin'..Christian upbringing and good manners.

  8. You made some interesting points. Could relate to #4. That is why I don't do face book. I figure if someone from my past in not in my life now, there probably is good reason:))

  9. I was picked on when I was at school but never ever let on that the bastards upset me I just smiled and went about my business to me showing they hurt me was giving them a high.........I also would tell my girls the same thing..............reading about the coffee at partys made me think I want to get an urn before my dads 70'th in October, when we had a party for my mums 70'th and for my parents 50th wedding anniversary I was annoyed that some people said they would be there and never turned up.......so rude and frustrating.....

  10. Oh my Clint, you have been thinking a lot! So many subjects, so little time. I don't want to think that hard tonight. Had a very busy day but wanted to say "hello." Hope you and Cindy have a wonderful evening.

  11. Your post today was really interesting, Clint. You are in a very philosophical frame of mind this week. I love to follow you line of reasoning. I hope you and Cindy are both well and enjoying you rnew home. Have a great day. Blessings...Mary

  12. oh Clint, you are so truely to us to open your heart and this is beautifull, so human as we all are... but not we all have the courage to speack with open heart...

    love to you and Cindy have a godd day

  13. I agree that kids need to be taught how to deal with bullies. I hate bullying, but I've seen one or two that seem to be almost inviting it with their actions. It's like swimming out into shark infested waters with a knife, cutting yourself, and then watching what happens. They should learn how to not make themselves bully bait.

  14. You just know how to bring us the conversations Clint. I regret almost all the time, but have absolutely no regret at the end of the day.