Marriage.......

I drank my coffee and read the paper this morning; and then, as   usual, I felt a gnawing in my gut that signaled the onset of hunger pangs. 

Without even thinking, I arose and ventured to the fridge.  Peering inside, I spied a container of homemade tuna salad---there was just enough remaining to be used in the construction of a sandwich.  Perfect, I thought to myself.

I found the mayo in the back of the fridge, hiding from me as it always does.  Now, all I needed was two decent slabs of bread, and breakfast would be complete.

But......where the heck was the bread?  It wasn't in the pantry.  It could not be found on the countertops. 

Then, it hit me---throughout our marriage, the bread has been a point of contention. 

Woman believes (she got this from her momma) that bread should be stored in the freezer.  That's right---every time you want some bread, you gotta go to the freezer, find the loaf that is, of course, unusable because it is a frozen solid mass, remove it, pry two pieces of bread from the mass, being careful to not break any of it in its brittle state, place the two slabs in the microwave for 20 seconds (or in the toaster for two minutes), and then return the bread to either the freezer or the pantry.  NOTE:  if you decide to put the bread in the pantry, you will find that the bread will thaw and become soggy.

Now, to me---a simple man with a simple outlook---bread should not be kept in the freezer unless it will not be used for a long period of time.  But I use bread all the time---sandwiches are a quick and easy way to satisfy one's hunger. 

But, my wife has this deeply ingrained neurotic insistence on placing the bread in the freezer.  This, I have determined, has its roots in her upbringing, where her momma practiced this odd behavior.  I checked with Cindy's sister, Patti, and found that she, too, has a freezer fetish for her bread.  Apparently, this condition has no remedy.  After all these years of marriage, I have been unable to change her behavior in this regard.

So, I guess you can say that I am now "trained".  I made my sandwich and then put the bread back in the freezer.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.....