Stuff My Dad Said

Dad and His Sister, Wynne, 1940s

At the cocktail hour yesterday evening, Cindy and I were talking about things our dads would say when we were growing up.  Some of them were pretty funny.  And a lot of the things my dad would say were sarcastic in a humorous way.

My Mom and Dad, Circa 1942

Examples:

If dad was in a restaurant and they brought him a very small portion, he would sarcastically mutter, "I hope that doesn't run 'em short!"

If dad wanted me to do something---a chore, perhaps---he would say, "Stop sittin' there like a bump on a log!"

When dad was driving the car and he came to a red stoplight, and the car in front of him didn't move forward quickly after the light changed, he would yell at the driver, "IT AIN'T GONNA GET ANY GREENER!"

Circa 1955....L--R  My Brother David, Dad, Mom and Me

If dad thought someone wasn't very bright, he would often exclaim, "He's not smart enough to pour sand out of a boot with directions on the heel."

Whenever dad heard someone exclaim of the weather,"It feels good out today", dad would retort, "It feels so good out, I think I'll leave it out."

When someone would ask dad if he had been to church, he would often say, "I didn't go to church this week because I haven't sinned lately."

When dad would come into my bedroom in the morning to get me out of bed, he would yell, "LEMME HEAR THE SOUND OF FEET HITTIN' THE FLOOR!"

When we were all sitting at the dinner table, and dad wanted someone to pass him the butter, he would say, "Please pass the salve."

When someone would continually talk about the medications they were taking or how they never felt well, dad would comment under his breath, "He enjoys poor health."

 I miss him.