FIRE!!!!.......

Get the picture:

I made myself a shrimp po-boy sandwich for dinner in the kitchen as Cindy busied herself by putting together her own dinner---a salad with shrimp and some garlic bread.  As yours truly finished the construction of said sandwich (which was delicious, I might add), I moved to my comfortable leather chair for a gander at the evening news as I prepared to make love to my shrimp-tomato-mayo-lettuce-green onion and rye bread masterpiece.

Ahhhhh.....sitting down, I draped a bib over my chest and slowly took a small bite, testing the flavor.....perfect!  Next, a swig of cold green tea washed the mouthful down into my innards and I was in heaven.

AHHHHH!!!!   FIRE!!!!  My eyes shot kitchenward and I saw a burst of flames erupt from the toaster where the Cinderoo was preparing her garlic bread.  I started to spring from my chair to address the problem, but the flames immediately died down as she closed the toaster door. 

She immediately unplugged the toaster.  I figured there had been some sort of a malfunction of its heating element, because the toaster was about ten years old and had been used extensively over the time we had owned it.

Just as I settled back down for another bite, thinking the crisis was over, flames again erupted from the implement.  Well, I thought, Cindy can handle it...she was standing right there.  But, there was a problem...my wife had gone into panic mode and did not seem able to think.  This time, the flames had no intention of dying down, as they were obviously feeding off the bread Cindy had put into the toaster.

So, as I watched this drama unfold before me, I had to make a decision.  Now, please realize that I was in the middle of eating a really delicious shrimp po-boy and the last thing I wanted to do was get up from my comfy perch in my favorite chair.  The flames were growing, now licking the bottom of the cabinets above the toaster.  It was not a pretty sight.

For those of you not in the know, it only takes a few seconds for a hot fire under cabinets to quickly involve the entire house in flames.

So, again I had to make a lightning-fast decision:  Do I ruin my delicious meal and get up to put the fire out, or do I use this as a "teaching moment" for my wife, who was wringing her hands in a stupor as the house was beginning to burn down.

I chose the latter course of action.

"USE THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"  I shouted. 

NOTE:  the fire extinguisher was 18 inches from the toaster on the countertop where we always keep it. 

Now shaken from her immobility, the Lady of the House grabbed the extinguisher and quickly doused the flames.

This Is How Close The Toaster Is To The Fire Extinguisher...

By now, a thick white smoke filled the house and every fire alarm we own was screaming bloody murder.

The fire now extinguished, woman began opening doors and windows to clear the smoke.  Meanwhile I continued to make love to my po-boy.  Man, that was a good sandwich!

Woman was not so fortunate with her own dinner, however.  It seems she ruined her garlic bread, shrimp and salad when she turned the fire extinguisher loose on aforementioned fire.  She ended up eating some cereal for dinner. 

It was a little later that I found out that wife thought I had behaved very badly in the crisis.  She actually thought I didn't care if the house burned down as long as I got to eat my delicious po-boy uninterrupted.  Well maybe there is a little truth to that  (just kiddin')........

I tried to explain to the dear lady that I do care about preserving our happy home, but that I also thought she needed to learn how to respond to a fire.  After all, maybe the next time I wouldn't be present to take care of things, and this was a perfect time to help her learn how to use a fire extinguisher. 

It took a few hours for her to begin to agree that maybe it was indeed a good idea that she responded to the crisis by herself because she DID learn what to do if it ever happened again.

Some time was required to clean up the mess from the extinguisher.  We are now in the market for a new toaster.  We replaced the fire extinguisher yesterday.

We Are Now In The Market For A New Toaster

I think she still loves me.

Seriously---if you do not have a fire extinguisher in your home, please get one.  When you need it, YOU NEED IT.  A good one costs about $20.  There is no excuse.